Last night, Christian Grey kept me up very late. Past midnight. I’m very tired this morning.
I first stayed up to finish Jennifer Armintrout’s recaps, chapter by chapter, of 50 Shades Darker, the second book in the 50 Shades of Grey series. I finished reading her recaps of the first book on Tuesday night.
Before I get to my point, I want to make some clarifications about my experience with this book. Because of the hype about it, I downloaded the free previews — the first two chapters — of each book to see if I could even stand to read them. Set aside the fact that E.L. James couldn’t write herself out of a paper bag, I got really, really, really bored and decided it wasn’t worth the torture to even try. Then I read Katrina Lumsden’s reviews of the books on www.goodreads.com and they were so funny that I kind of wanted to read the books just to laugh at them. But the thought of spending actual money and adding to the fortunes of the publisher who stooped so low as to publish this drivel was too much for me. So, if someone wants to lend me a free copy of the series, I’d appreciate it. 🙂
So … with that said, let me take you all through a couple scenarios:
Imagine, if you will, a 19-year-old girl sitting in a mall food court with a man. They’re having a conversation and once or twice something catches her attention out of the corner of her eye and she glances in that direction, finds nothing of particular interest and looks back at the man she’s with and continues the conversation.
And then …
He accuses her of staring at a man who was in the general direction of where she’d turned her head to look. She tells him she didn’t see anyone, but he doesn’t believe her. Of course, this “staring” she did in the split second during which she turned her head means she wants to have sex with a man she didn’t see. An argument erupts and in the end, they make up and move on.
A few months later, this same teenage girl and the same man are in a restaurant having dinner. By now, she’s learned to keep her head down in public, lest someone with a Y chromosome wanders into her line of sight. They get up to leave and she notices that there are three men sitting in a booth towards which she must walk in order to get out of the restaurant. She is careful to cast her eyes to the floor and not look at them at all on her way out.
And yet …
The man screams at her for hours about how she was “staring” at the men in the booth.
Every time she’s in public with this man, she gets a sick feeling in her stomach. He calls constantly and demands to know who she’s with and what she’s doing. He attempts to separate her physically and emotionally from her family and friends she’s known her entire life.
Put billions of dollars in his bank account and make him “hot” (as in good-looking, not with a fever) and I present you with Christian Grey, the man millions of women are “in love with.” The man millions of women compare to their own boyfriends or husbands and find their real-life partners lacking.
Let me tell you right now, Christian Grey is not a catch. He is not a good person. He is not someone you want to be involved with. He is most definitely not romantic or heroic. If someone you cared about was in a relationship with him, you would be afraid for her life and begging her to leave him.
Prior to reading Armentrout’s blog, I was mostly just annoyed that a publisher picked up the books. The writing is horrible. The theme and plot barely exist. This thing with Leila? I’m not even sure why James bothered. Take out the sex scenes and these books are the ideal romantic relationship that might spring forth from the not-quite-formed psyche of a ten-year-old girl. But they came from the clearly stunted psyche of a woman who, based on photos I’ve seen, is in her thirties or forties.
To the women who look at Christian Grey and see the ideal man, I ask: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??? I know I’m going to offend some people, but seriously, you need therapy. Intense, serious, deep therapy.
This book would have made more sense and been a more honest story if it was a thriller about a young, innocent woman who fell in love with a billionaire who turned out to be a psychopath (because that is absolutely what Christian Grey is) and she has to somehow escape him. Hmmm … perhaps this should have been Sleeping with the Enemy fan fiction. It’s closer to the reality. One of them will have to end up dead in the end because that is how this kind of thing ends.
I know plenty of people are going to comment here about how it’s “just a book,” but it isn’t. I can understand that the sex scenes maybe turned you on. I can get that you maybe even enjoyed the story. But what I don’t understand, the thing that should concern any of you who think this way, is why you believe this is a romantic story? Why do you think Christian Grey is the man of all your dreams? Why in the holy hell would you want to even know someone who won’t even allow you to choose your own food or when you will eat it?
Here’s a tip: If you enjoy having every last detail of your life micro managed, commit a crime and go to jail. You’ll have more autonomy that way.
I find the books inspirational, in that, although they’re apparently really bad and started out as DIY e-books and print-on-demand books, James is now, if not stinking rich, then certainly well off (or will be as soon as the royalty checks start coming in). If someone who can’t write can have this kind of success, then maybe there’s hope for those of us who can write!
As much as I’m annoyed that she got published at all when I know better writers who can’t even get noticed, that wasn’t really the point of this post.
From Armentrout’s recaps: “Ana figures she has to change the subject “before he goes all Fifty on me,” which, you know, that doesn’t sound like an abusive relationship at all, trying to constantly monitor the situations you’re in so the abuser doesn’t react negatively or anything, but I guess I digress.” I unfortunately identified so strongly with this in my past relationship. Having to consider someone’s reaction before you act or speak to try to keep the fire under control. Glad to have come a long way from this. Thanks for your honesty in this blog. It’s dead on.
very strange indeed
Love it! – maybe a different type of 50 shades of grey will be better … http://abeautybag.wordpress.com/2012/09/28/50-shades-of-grey-the-stuff-that-really-makes-you-happy/
:o) x
I was married to a man like Christian Grey. I was one of those women abused in a toxic relationship. I was married to a man who abused me every day, sexually, mentally then physically. It took me over ten years to leave.The book does depict abuse. It is toxic for so many young women. I see myself in that book. EL James said she wrote this book from her own life experiences. The article is on the daily mail. That is utter rubbish. Yes EL James and the movie are going to make a lot of money depicting abuse. I find this shameful. EL James does not have a clue about BDSM and the book clearly shows this. There is also a very interesting article by Sam Taylor the director. She and the studio brought in a writer to make changes to give the book a better story line and to depict BDSM the right way. EL James wasn’t having a bar of it.
EL James and her book are coping a lot of very negative criticism and so they should. FYI……EL James stole 75% of her story line and character Mr Grey from the movie “Secretary” James Spade 2002 movie. Watch the movie and you will see fifty shades of grey. Like an comment left on an article on the Daily Mail yesterday saiys. “EL James needs to come clean about where she stole her book story and characters from. She needs to come clean about a lot of things, as she is full of crap.” Quoting from the article comments.
I wish I could read your blog, but the background makes it impossible to distinguish the letters.
I’m not sure how much more readable I can make black letters on a white background. Sorry if that’s not something you can see. Not sure why …
It’s a very fine font that is hard to read for folks with any sort of eye issue. I believe it’s the font type rather than the white background. For example, the text looks grey on my screen.
Hmm. Well, that sounds more like an issue with the settings on your end than anything I’ve done. The font is black and the background it white. There isn’t much I can do to change the font unless I go with a completely different layout. No one else has ever had an issue with it.
I really do enjoy your insightful and well-written articles! 🙂 keep writing!
Thank you. 🙂