I think that I could easily write this entire blog about what happens on my trips to Walmart. Although, sometimes my trips to Publix are interesting, too. It must be that some kind of strange chemical reaction happens in people’s brains when they walk into stores with too much variety.
But focusing this blog specifically on trips to Walmart would require daily trips or way fewer posts, and after what happened on Tuesday, I don’t think my sanity would survive.
“What happened on Tuesday?” you all are asking yourselves now. Well, I will tell you:
Because I was out of town all weekend, I didn’t grocery shop on my normal day, which meant I had to go either when I got back from a six-hour drive on Monday or wait until Tuesday, which, obviously, is what I did. I also had to do all the laundry on Monday and Tuesday, which means I had two loads at home to fold and put away. And I worked on Tuesday, so by the time I got to the store, I just wanted to get what I needed and get out as quickly as possible.
I pretty much just picked out the absolute necessities to get us to Friday, when I will do a much bigger and more in-depth shopping trip. I thought I got lucky when I found a lane where the person in front of me didn’t have much left on the belt — enough time, I thought, to get all my groceries up there and get to the front of the line in time to tell the cashier that 1.) I have my own bags and 2.) I will pack them to make it easier on her and faster for all of us.
Not only was the woman in front of me (with her poor teenage daughter) writing a check (Who the heck writes CHECKS???? anymore?), she also decided that her total ($181 to be exact) was too high. She “wasn’t expecting that.” She proceeds to flip back and forth between checks in her checkbook, I suppose trying to figure out if the one on top was good enough or too good or whatever for Walmart. As she’s doing this, she’s telling the cashier how she always looks over her receipt after shopping because quite often things get rung up twice or more. (This has never happened to me, and in two years working as a cashier, it maybe happened once or twice, but whatever.)
I need to start a new paragraph because that one is getting really long.
OK, so as the woman is v.e.r.y s.l.o.w.l.y filling out her check, the cashier tries to speed things up by looking over the receipt, which reveals that the one thing she accidentally rang twice, she voided, so the woman wasn’t charged twice. The woman thanks the cashier for looking it over because that will save her having to wait in line at the customer service desk. (Apparently, she doesn’t care that people are waiting in line behind her who don’t have any issues at all and didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition at the checkout — cue the comfy chair and fluffy pillows!) But that wasn’t good enough. Oh no! She still hasn’t written the freaking check, but takes the time to take the receipt from the cashier and very carefully look it over herself.
Now, the woman has a week’s worth of groceries in her cart and she bought her poor teenage daughter a straightening iron for — wait for it — $36. But she’s surprised at a bill of $181. Surprised???!!!! I mean, I could see the straightening iron in the cart and wasn’t surprised at all. I’ve been grocery shopping long enough to know that a week’s worth of groceries and a $36 straightening iron can easily add up to $181. I might be surprised it was that low.
Finally, the woman wrote her check, paid and moved on. In the meantime, the cashier rings up my entire order, it’s bagged, I pay and Emma and I move out to the parking lot, fill up the car, put the cart in the coral (this woman, as I suspected, left her cart in the middle of the parking lot because walking 20 feet to the cart coral might take too long or something) and get in my car and pull out at almost the exact same time as this woman. It took her that long to walk out to the parking lot, put the groceries in her car and go.
I’m trying very, very hard to be a more patient person. I’m trying very, very hard to be Zen in difficult situations. Really, I am. But it seems the various crazy people in the world are doing their best to thwart my efforts. Please, I beg you all, stop it.