When I was 7 or 8 years old, my mother told me one day that we would be having linguini for dinner. LINGUINI??!!!!
This information was just what it took for me to have a complete meltdown, especially since my mother insisted that I was going to eat it. Whether I wanted to or not.
I have vague memories of sitting on the floor, bawling my eyes out because I was going to have to eat linguini. How could my mother do that to me? It was cruel. Beyond cruel. This was child abuse.
Even at that tender age, though, I had the presence of mind to be completely mortified at my behavior when I finally found out that linguini was just a word for a specific kind of pasta. Why my mother didn’t just tell me that to begin with, I don’t know. It could be that she thought I knew already, that she didn’t consider that I wouldn’t know that. Or it could be she thought it was incredibly funny to watch me have a nervous breakdown over it, so she let me continue believing that linguini was some horrible, foreign, scary substance that I would be forced to ingest by the people who were supposed to love me.
I’m pretty sure she didn’t tell me because she was too amused to do so. My mother would totally do something like that.
So, yeah, as you can tell, I wasn’t the easiest child to feed. I spent many a dinner time munching on buttered noodles while my parents ate something else. Something I wouldn’t touch with a 100-foot pole. I spent years eating pasta (with butter, cheese, sauce — there are a million ways to eat pasta, and that’s not counting the seafood sauces), cheeseburgers, steak, chicken (only white meat, thank you), turkey and various sandwiches. I wouldn’t eat pork in any form. My mother had to force-feed me vegetables. I did like a lot of fruit, but not all of it. The only form of potato I would even consider was the French fry. I loved pizza. Until high school, though, the idea of a chicken wing made me gag.
I’m kind of surprised I managed to ingest enough essential nutrients to survive into adulthood, but here I am. And now, in my 30s, I finally eat! Lots of things:
Hummus!
Avocados!
Indian food!
Mexican food!
Vegetables of all kinds!
Chili!
Mashed potatoes!
Baked potatoes!
Potato soup!
Tomato soup!
I never did learn to like seafood, although I had crab legs once at a friend’s house and they were OK. I became vegetarian in February 2008, though, so that meant the end of experimenting with seafood. And put an end to my love affair with pulled pork. (Which I discovered by accident at a function I attended as a reporter in St. Marys, Georgia. It was a buffet. I thought the pork was beef, so I took a large helping. And it was Really Good.)
Like anyone, there are still tastes that I don’t care for. But if you invite me for dinner (I’m accepting invitations!), I’ll probably at least try anything you offer, as long as it’s meat-free.
Don’t worry, though. My teenage daughter is paying me back in spades for the eating habits of Younger Me. She’s pickier than I ever was.
I am just laughing so hard about the linguini meltdown. What a great story *L*
Oh, my poor mother! It’s a good thing she has a very sick sense of humor or she may have ended up in the psyche ward by the time I was 10. 🙂
Boy, this blog brought back memories. On my childhood plate, none of the different foods could touch each other. I’d order a salad in a restaurant and only eat the little shreds of carrot. And I’d eat all the peas first, all the chicken next, then the rice . . .
There was a funny episode on All In The Family on this. Meathead was eating all of his corn, then all of his potatoes, and Archie tried to explain how unhealthy it was to eat like that. He said something like, “You eat all the peas first and they go into your body in a clump, circulate in your blood and end up landing in a pile in your left hand. Then you eat all the carrots and they end up congregated someplace like your big right toe. That’s too many carrots for one toe. And just think if all your chicken ends up in your heart clogging it up; you could have a heart attack!”
That’s so funny. I actually read something recently that said eating all of one food at once instead of skipping around is better and you eat less because your taste buds get tired of the same taste.
My daughter announced this week that the orzo on her place was “kinda yucky” it wasn’t “all yucky”. She ate four bites. Must have been pretty yucky.
Well, if it was “all yucky,” she wouldn’t have eaten any, right.
I do miss that kind of thing from when my daughter was little.
i did tell you it was just flat spaghetti, but you wouldn’t listen, you were too busy being mad at me.
just like the time you watched me make spaghetti sauce and you saw me put onions and garlic in it and you decided right then and there you’d never eat spaghetti sauce again.
i said to you, “what do you think makes the spaghetti sauce taste so good?”
you didn’t have an answer
so i don’t know what universe you were living in back then, but i did tell you that linguini was just flat spaghetti, but you obviously didn’t bother to listen.
so what else is new?
I guess I didn’t hear you.
you survived on Flintstones vitamins, hamburgers, thin spaghetti (i didn’t dare tell you it was vermicelli or capellini), butter, cheese, and bread.
once in a while you’d condescend to eat a carrot
no, you didn’t hear me. you never heard me. not many people do.
i guess i talk too slow.
just eat it
So funny!
A couple of years ago I was at my dad’s house for a holiday and we were having baked ham. I asked him to pass the mustard and his jaw about dropped. Apparently I was pretty notorious in my aversion to mustard as a kid.
There are a lot of things I love now that I refused to allow anywhere near me years ago. Funny how we change.
So what made you decide to go vegetarian? I’m always curious when people make that choice.
In all honesty, I became vegetarian out of guilt. I’m an animal lover and spent years and years ignoring the fact that I was eating dead animals on a daily basis and then one day (which coincided with my friend being oh so thoughtful and describing — in detail — the ASPCA video from the slaughterhouse that came out in February 2008) I decided I couldn’t ignore that fact anymore. I had been trying and failing at the veg thing for a few months at that time, and had just decided I couldn’t do it and was going to give up.
I also hated mustard as a child and love it now!
i’m happy you were eating dead animals instead of live ones since live ones bite when you try to eat them.
How funny! I think kids would eat more things if they didn’t know what they were…at least Mrs. Seinfeld is hoping so or her book wouldn’t sell as much.
I too am a vegetarian and can extoll the virtues of pasta, but I must welcome you to the wonderful world of Hummus. Mmmm.
My mom had that theory when I was growing up. If we eat it enough, we’ll “learn to like it.” That never worked for me. I still hate lima beans and okra, and sausage and sauerkraut never caught on for me. Now that I’m an adult I make what *I* want to eat!
I love pasta, it’s pretty much amazing. Hilarious post, my sister is more of the tantrum girl. I’m a vegetarian too, I have been since 8th grade. Although, I’m not that picky. (So long as it doesn’t have meat I’ll try it.)
Stopping by from SITS!
http://MeCassieMarie.blogspot.com
My kids will eat something, love it, ask what it is and ever touch it again
My daughter one day just up and decided she doesn’t like chicken. In any form. It used to be one of her favorite foods.
I remember I absolutely despised chili as a child. I love it now. It’s funny how our tastes evolve.
I’m not even sure if I liked or didn’t like certain things because I simply refused to try them!
i stuck a clove up my nose when i was 3 because it smelled so good.
big mistake
So funny! I too am a picky eater and refuse to eat onions or anything vaguely oniony. It made me very popular with my inlaws…..
No onions??? That’s just so wrong! 🙂