I have only one child. I will only ever have that one child, by choice. It’s what’s right for me.
But that didn’t keep me from feeling incredibly insulted while reading a blog on Wednesday. The blogger has two step-daughters and is pregnant with her second biological child. She made this statement: “I often feel compelled to tell people this is ‘technically’ only my second baby, so they don’t think I might have serious emotional problems and/or avoid becoming my friend.”
This is after a very close friend of mine, Ellen, (who is pregnant now with her ACTUAL fourth child) posted on Facebook about the not very nice reactions she gets from people when she tells them this is her fourth. Ellen grew up in a family with six children. I have known her family for 20 years. I can assure everyone reading this, they are all perfectly sane. And very nice people. And I’m proud to call Ellen my friend.
I guess it’s easy and maybe compelling to mock what is different. If you aren’t the type of person to want a large family, then you mock those who do. Or maybe you’re secretly jealous. (And I will also point out that while this is only the blogger’s second, it is her husband’s fourth, so maybe he has emotional problems.)
I wanted to comment on the girl’s blog, point out to her how judgmental and nasty her comment was. But I decided against it. I don’t feel like debating this with someone who would make a statement like that. This is also why I’m not linking to her blog or naming names.
The Duggars got on television with I believe their 14th child. The media thought this was unusual enough to showcase for the world. I think, though, it wasn’t so much that it was that unusual as the parents have some great marketing skills.
In my high school alone, I know of Ellen’s family (mentioned above) of six, another family of eight (all girls!) and another of 13 the last I knew. They may have ended up with more. My second cousin married a woman with something like 18 brothers and sisters (I don’t know the exact number, but if you live in the Buffalo, New York, area and know someone names Attea, that person is most likely related to my cousin-in-law).
My best friend grew up in a family of four children. Her mother has five brothers and sisters and her father has three siblings. My mother’s sister has four children.
So, I guess I’m surrounded by a lot of emotionally damaged people. I’ll take it. They’ve certainly made my life enjoyable.
This is probably not the best piece of writing I’ve ever done, but I needed to publicly vent. I really wish people would stop judging each other’s choices in life. Do what’s best for you and accept that others are not you and will have different ideas of what’s best for them.